what to say

this is hard...not this blog... Olivia's death .... just got back from the homecoming parade and pep rally. Liv should have been there - She should be homecoming royalty. She should be homecoming queen. so.... I thought I would try this but I can't really bring myself to type out the ramblings in my head....

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my mom is dying of pancreatic cancer.... maybe within a few weeks.....why do we live like we don't know we are going to die? i mean we know - but..... some how we think it's not going to happen to "us" just other people.....maybe when we are very old we might die then. So I'm going off to watch her die - or not - she really is rather tough....see there i go.....
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